


Hercules and the Cosmo

by abrasivelysilentnoisemaker



Category: Fairly OddParents, Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: Dairy Queen, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 18:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8172079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrasivelysilentnoisemaker/pseuds/abrasivelysilentnoisemaker
Summary: It was an ordinary day in the wonderful town of Crackfic. The sun was shining, with fluffy clouds ghosting by without a care in the world. The residents went about their business, whether it was creating mischief, searching for aliens, or casting dangerous spells in the forest surrounding the town. Or, in the case of Cosmo, standing behind the counter of the local Dairy Queen.





	

It was an ordinary day in the wonderful town of Crackfic. The sun was shining, with fluffy clouds ghosting by without a care in the world. The residents went about their business, whether it was creating mischief, searching for aliens, or casting dangerous spells in the forest surrounding the town. Or, in the case of Cosmo, standing behind the counter of the local Dairy Queen. 

The fairy floated lazily on his back by the cash register as he waited for something to happen. Since he had started his shift an hour or so ago (to a fairy, what was time?), only three people had come and gone. Not that he was complaining, of course. He didn’t even want to work there. 

Of course, that begs the question of why Cosmo was currently dressed in a red polo and khakis at the residence of all Dairy Royalty. And, of course, like every other shenanigans he had ever been a part of, it all boiled down to a wish. A wish from one of his roommate, to be precise. 

“I wish you’d just get a job!”

Whelp. 

And, like every other time (such as when he still resided in Canonville), Wanda was glued to his hip. Speaking of Wanda…

“Cosmo, there’s work to be done! Can you do, I don’t know, something?” her nasally voice bounced across the room. 

Popping his head up over the counter to look at her, Cosmo pouted. “But Wanda, there’s nobody here--"

No sooner had the words left his mouth the bell on the door chimed merrily. Shooting Cosmo an exasperated look, Wanda turned her attention to the newcomer. “Oh! Hercules!”

Cosmo perked right up; Hercules had visited them at work almost every day for the past two weeks, keeping Cosmo company on his lunch break. 

Speaking of which…

“Lunch break!” Cosmo crowed, buzzing through the air. He heard Wanda groan, but he didn’t care. After all, food was the greatest thing to be invented, you know, right after fanfiction. Excited, he circled between Hercules and the cash register. “What do you want today?”

Hercules shifted his weight uncomfortably. “Actually, I can’t stay for long today. I just needed to ask you something?”

“What is it?” Cosmo flew back over to him, his curiosity piqued. It wasn’t often when anyone ever deigned to ask him anything. He looked up at Hercules, questioning. 

“Do you remember when you told me you broke off a piece of Von Strangle’s wand?”

Wanda’s shriek filled Cosmo’s ears, making him cringe. Worrying his lower lip between his teeth, he grinned sheepishly. “Um. Yes?”

“I was curious. Where did you dispose of the piece?”

Cosmo blinked, taking a moment to weigh the options. On the one hand, Wanda was still screeching nonsense nearby, and he knew he would have to suffer her wrath later. On the other, what harm could there be in showing his old buddy Herc? It was an easy decision. 

“Oh! That’s easy!” Cosmo grinned. “Why? Do you want to see it?” Receiving affirmation, Cosmo zoomed over to the soda machine and opened it. It took a couple tries, but he managed to yank out the solidified chunk of fairy dust. “Here it is!” Cosmo yelled, proud of himself.

A puff of purple smoke appeared in the room, as well as a deep rumbling. Cosmo froze. Oh no. Oh, no no no. Hugging the wand shard to his chest, Cosmo sped behind Wanda, who immediately poofed herself away from him and left him in an extremely open area. As the smoke dissipated, Cosmo eyed the figure left in its wake. 

“Cosmo!” Jorgen Von Strangle screamed. Unnecessary, as Cosmo was literally a good foot and a half away, a fact that Cosmo pointed out. Von Strangle yanked Cosmo towards him, earning a screech from the offending fairy himself. “Cosmo,” Von Strangle hissed, somehow no more quiet, “You are hereby under fairy arrest for a quadrillion years!” 

Accepting his fate, Cosmo looked to Hercules with tears in his eyes. “Buddy, old pal, friend of mine, why?”

Hercules shrugged. “He offered me eternal free blizzards.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wish i had eternal free blizzards


End file.
